绑匪绑架了抑郁患者

Patient: “I have no money, no house, my parents are divorced, and I’m currently single. I have about 8,000 yuan in my phone, you can take it all.”

Kidnapper: “…Wait, let’s follow the procedure, shall we?”

Patient: “*Just tear up the ticket, thank you so much, you’re a really good person.”

*(撕票) Just tear up the ticket – Kill a hostage usually held for ransom

Kidnapper: “…I didn’t say anything about tearing up the ticket ah.”

Patient: “I can handwrite a su*cide note to make it look like I killed myself.”

Kidnapper: “I don’t intend to kill you, just give me the money.”