Don’t Study for Ph.D, You’ll be Off the Market

Wen Di’s doctoral life was absolutely miserable.

The advisor kept bossing him around, his peers made things difficult, he had a crush on the math professor next door, yet he couldn’t even strike up a conversation.

On a rare free weekend, his neighbor was playing the violin in the room, and his playing was worse than slaughtering pigs.

Wen Di got up and sent a message in the WeChat group: I’ll report you for disturbing the peace if you keep playing.

Neighbor: Only 55 decibels during the day count as disturbing the peace. Before you call a lawyer, do a sound test.

Neighbor: Also, you can’t pile up garbage in the corridor, and you’re not even sorting it.

Wen Di argued with him, only to be personally attacked: Oh, you like Shakespeare, huh? No wonder you speak so illogically.

Wen Di was furious.

Shakespeare was a literary giant, the subject of his research, his spiritual mentor. Anyone who slandered Shakespeare was tr*sh!

Finally, Wen Di had the opportunity to get acquainted with the professor. In order to find a common topic, he even went to sit in on the professor’s complex geometry class.

Wen Di: I saw a mug with a Möbius strip and thought it suited you very well.

Bian Cheng: The Möbius strip is a non-directional manifold, it doesn’t fall within the scope of complex geometry.

Wen Di: …

Bian Cheng: What have you been researching lately?

Wen Di: Interpreting ‘As You Like It’ from the perspective of Confucian culture.

Bian Cheng: Shakespeare? He’s too illogical. It’s better to talk about garbage classification than to talk about him.

A math professor who infuriates people to death (gong) x English doctoral student with a foul mouth (shou)

A bit funny, a bit academic, a bit oddly cute.

Gong is a Shakespeare’s hater